9 facebook brand page bloopers to avoid

Well there are more. But here are my favourite 9 Facebook brand page bloopers

#1. Buying Fans: Doesn't work all the time. Quantity will win over quality more often than not. And that's a disaster waiting to happen.

#2. Poor language: I don't mean typos and grammatical errors. Just poor language skills of the hack employed to write inane status posts. Would you do that for a print ad? Your client will skin you alive. Same here.

#3. No editorial policy: Yes you are not running a facebook brand page. I mean of course you are. But again not really. You are in charge of an online publishing platform which needs an editorial policy. Is someone setting that policy or do you post depending on which side of the bed you wake up on.

#4. Post & forget: Is someone answering fan queries? Checking the page once in 6 hours just won't do. Please be more respectful of the people whose time and attention you have asked for. Who are they? The fans moron.

#5. Talking but not conversing: Your job is not just to post but to ensure that it leads to a conversation. Do you have an engagement goal on your posts? If you are taking the time and effort to craft good content, isn't it a crime to not ensure that it leads to conversations? So ask questions on fan comments. Joke with them. Scold them (Yes, it works if your tone is right. And yes they can hear your voice behind the text). Cajole them. Answer them. But build a damn conversation.

#6. Try avoiding 'We': Your fans are talking to a brand. Not a group of social media ninjas. In fact, you become a social media ninja only if your fans talk to 'It/Him/Her' and not 'Them'. Get it? No. Too bad. Please visit Skittles on Facebook.

#7. Ban pests: Some fans are not. Fans that is. They are pests. Their sole reason for existence on Facebook is to win contests & freebies. And if they don't win, they get abusive. Reason with them. Once. Second time around let the other fans deal with the pest. If you have 50K fans, it means atleast half of them are there for genuine reasons. A pest who abuses the brand page is essentially abusing the choice and therefore the intelligence of those 25K fans. So let the fans deal with the pest. If this doesn't work, announce that you are banning the pest. And then make good on your promise. Pests smell a timid admin a mile away.

#8. Welcome Page: Very important to craft a message for non-fans urging them to click the Like button. Equally important to tell them via a picture, a video or a couple of lines of why they should bother becoming a fan of your page. A lot of facebookers visit your page, but might not click the 'Like' button. Lost opportunity. Bad mistake.

#9. Don't inform. Entertain: There are no customers & consumers on Facebook. And though FB calls them fans, they are actually your audience. And audiences don't like information. They want entertainment. If you haven't figured out how to entertain them, well then they are not entertained. And you are running an expensive multi-starrer to empty seats. Box-office flop.

Now the question is, why list only 9? Why not a wholesome sounding 10 mistakes? Well, if you have read this post so far, then I pat myself and say 'Mission Accomplished'. The tenth mistake wasn't really necessary.

And yes I have been guilty of committing these mistakes on the brands I handle. How do you think I realised they are mistakes? By the way, what are yours?

Homer pic courtesy Matt Groenig (Although he doesn't know I borrowed it)