A feminist man: The new male privilege and how advertising can fuel this

Historically, we’ve seen men as part of the problem. But could they be seen as part of the solution? Feminism of the future relies on men. When you want to change a culture, it’s easier for a representative of that culture to sell the change. Basically, men are more effective feminists because other men are more likely to listen to them.

Secondly, men benefit from feminism, and feminist men know this–they feel freer to be vulnerable, talk about their emotions and feelings, have no bruised egos when their partner earns as much or more, in fact that makes men feel less pressure to work round the clock to sustain the rising cost of living for them and their families. 

The bonus: For both men and women, having a partner who endorses feminist beliefs leads to increased relationship satisfaction. Researchers surveyed heterosexual men and women about their own beliefs, their partners’ beliefs, and their relationship health and quality. These researchers found that for both men and women, when their partners showed feminist attitudes, the individuals themselves reported greater relationship stability and enhanced emotional, psychological and sexual satisfaction. 

Despite this, Indian society lacks enough male feminist role models. So much so, that the ones representing change are regarded as a rare species. Here’s where the role of advertising becomes crucial–show feminist men. Make feminist men aspirational. For centuries, advertising has focused on human deficiencies and low self-esteem to win at capitalism. Feel less masculine? Get this sleek, matte black bike. Have wrinkles? Try this substance to stay young forever. Don’t feel you’ve ‘arrived’ yet? Drink this double-barrel scotch with your boys. It’s time to make men feel this lack in the softer aspects of their lives. Want a fulfilling emotional, physical and spiritual relationship with your partner? Be a feminist. Want to spend more time with your child? Be a feminist man who shares childcare responsibilities, and voila, feel more fulfilled. Would you like to have better mental health? Be a feminist man who doesn’t shy away from speaking about his vulnerabilities, crying to regulate his nervous system or going to therapy. Showing a man cry at a beach, with a friend by his side in an ad for John Jacobs has been one of the highlights of my advertising career. Show it, show more of it, show all of it. The Father’s Day film for Tanishq, written by Leena Gupta, showcasing feminist fathers is another fantastic example. I do believe that collectively as a society, we need to heal from the bad experiences we’ve had with men and patriarchy, and replace that with love for men who show the will to change, in intent and action. Let’s do “Boys will be boys” but with human values and characteristics–crying when they feel like, asking for hugs when they need it, having the choice to not be aspirational with their career, identifying vulnerability as strength, sharing home and childcare responsibilities, asking for consent, being kind and nurturing, showing up for their partner, their family and friends, and choosing respect over ego. When they default to feminist values, they’re actually defaulting to human values. 

An instagram page by Liz Plank, the author of ‘for the love of men’ called feministabulous, serves as a mirror to what society would look like if more men were feminists. This repository gives such a therapeutic sense of relief to see actual men being soft, vulnerable, caring, showing effort and equally participating in doing life with women. 

A film we recently created for Metro shoes is set up in a post feminist world–it starts with moments of microfeminism, led by the Metro man and leads up to a moment of macro feminism, one that shines light on the systemic and structural inequity that most women face when it comes to their reproductive choice. It’s a mutual decision, not one that should be dictated by the system. The role of the partner in such moments and the nuance with which it is tackled, serves as a reminder that gender discourse is not just a woman’s problem. For equity to be realised, men need to be as much a part of the discourse as women. This also serves as a reflection of how secure, mature men are going to be the catalyst for healthy marriages. 

For Daughter’s Day, Stayfree launched a campaign, conceptualised by DDB Mudra, that highlights the importance of healthy period conversations within families that help girls become comfortable about their periods. It served as a fantastic reminder 

that involving men in the discourse of normalising periods is a marker of real progress. Stayfree did that by simply asking their sons to buy a sanitary napkin. 

Put another way: The last frontier of women’s liberation may well be men’s liberation.

This article is penned by Pooja Manek, Creative & Founding Member, Talented.

Disclaimer: The article features the opinion of the author and does not necessarily reflect the stance of the publication.