Let Women be Women: Moving on from the ‘Good Girl’ trope

Wonderwoman, girlboss, supermom! It is the era of the pseudo-feminist marketing. Under the guise of empowerment, we pressurise women at every step.

Let us talk about where it all began. The ‘Good Wife’s Guide’ is a magazine article rumored to have been published in the May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly, describing how a good wife should act, containing material that reflects a very different role assignment from contemporary American society.

The article states in “bullet points” -

• Come evening, have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. 

• Look good for him. 

• Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. 

• Be more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. 

• Prepare the children. They need to look good. Minimize all noise. 

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. 

• Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. A good wife always knows her place.

All ads started off with the good girl, the good daughter, the good girlfriend and the good wife trope. Even today, many brands take this road, where domestic and cleaning/kitchen products and even kids' food items are endorsed only by women, as if hinting that it is her duty to manage these, because well, she does it better. Characteristics of ‘good girl syndrome’ may include people-pleasing, always seeking external validation, chasing perfectionism, avoiding any kind of confrontation,  self-sacrifice and all leading to a low self-esteem.

It is still rare to see ads with women buying or driving cars, buying homes, shares or any financial products. It took me three years to convince a car brand to put a woman behind the wheel. While making the financial literacy campaign for Paytm, one of the most progressive campaigns I’ve worked on, I realised the huge gap that exists in the most affluent homes. 

‘The Good Girl’ consists of several different stereotypes but the most popular one is the ‘domestic goddess’. She is loved by every single brand. Marketing has played a key role in creating her and painting her as a dream or a fairytale for the audience. And making them believe that she can achieve the Good Girl/ Wife status if she buys a particular product. Despite women’s progress in many parts of the society, ads still send underhanded, secret messages about how the ‘boss-woman’, or the 'supermoms' or ‘get-it-all-girl’ should always look. A subtle, perfectionist narrative tells women all through their lives that they are not good enough as what they are. They need to change their appearance, face, hair, clothes, and house. Whatever they do, it isn’t enough. And this endless perfectionism can be very damaging. 

Brands appear to be presenting a more positive and progressive message for women, but in reality, all that they have done is, tricked us. How? Being thin is about ‘wellness’ or ‘fitness’. Staying beautiful is being ‘ageless’. There is an expert who in his baritone voice tells the woman to be bold(er), strong(er), fit(er), health(ier). And we believe him, because it is years of conditioning. Within board rooms, we still choose models, actresses or influencers who are fair, thin and young. It is still rare to hear the word ‘dusky’, or ‘let’s not do size zero’.  If we really have become progressive, why are anti-ageing creams or weight loss products still primarily targeted to women? Uh uh, no more fairness creams but brighter skin, blemish free skin, wrinkle free skin. Seems fine, isn’t it? 

Historically there weren’t channels available to women to talk to each other about how objectionable they found this stuff. But now, social media, despite all its faults, has also been a brilliant way for women to discuss. Think about the collective impact that it can have when the same things are being said over and over again, which are usually: Be thinner, be fairer, be more feminine, be this and be that…  Cumulatively, it does have an effect. 

But why not sell products in a way that is going to have a positive effect on women, not just young women but all women? Like the ‘funny women’.  Or the older women. They seem missing from popular culture or ads. After all, the assumption is that women don’t have a sense of humour. How about we start a series women will be women. Similarly, older women - above 50? How many of them do we see in advertising? Only one in 30 ads? May be lesser. Older women are also tired of looking at advertising that just features women under 30. You would hear, ‘But won’t that put people off if you show older women?’ First of all, older women have the money. Secondly, younger women would appreciate the fact that she will have some role models to look up to. 

So, the next time you see an ad, tell me, was she a good girl?

This article is penned by Anupama Ramaswamy, Chief Creative Officer, Havas Worldwide India.