Unmasking motherhood: A journey from stereotypes to real experiences

Advertising often shows the stereotypical image of the perfect mother, creating unnecessary pressure for women to excel in every aspect of their lives. This portrayal leads to self-doubt and stress as mothers strive to meet unrealistic standards while balancing multiple responsibilities.

In a past ad, a well-known ready-to-cook and ready-to-eat brand depicted an Indian family scene where the mother asked each family member about their breakfast preferences, only to receive a chorus of varied requests. The mother maintained a smile and set out to fulfil everyone's desires. And if that wasn’t enough, four additional hands appeared, and she effortlessly began cooking multiple dishes simultaneously, each hand adeptly handling a different task.

While the ad may have intended to showcase the mother's ability to manage diverse preferences and multitask efficiently, it perpetuates problematic stereotypes. The portrayal reinforces traditional gender roles, depicting the mother as solely responsible for catering to the family's needs without any acknowledgment of shared responsibilities or support from other family members and the portrayal of her effortlessly handling multiple tasks with a smile further reinforces unrealistic expectations of mothers as self-sacrificing and infinitely capable.

Another pregnancy detection kit brand with 85% of market share in its industry, has long been synonymous with pregnancy news equals good news, and it couldn't be further from the truth. For countless women, news of pregnancy is not a cause for celebration but a source of anxiety and uncertainty. 

The brand’s latest campaign highlights the notion that the decision to have a second child is entirely up to the mother. However, this begs the question: What about the choice of having the first child or choosing not to have children at all? It's a reflection on the long-overlooked aspect of choice within motherhood.

In an attempt to unpack prevailing stereotypes and their origins, as well as to chart a course for change, creative mavericks weigh in.

Deconstructing stereotypes

As advertisers continue to perpetuate stereotypes of the perfect mother, it becomes important to understand the nuances of these stereotypes and the impact of these portrayals on societal perceptions and individual experiences.

Umma Saini, Chief Creative Officer at Schbang, highlights some of the common stereotypes that have pervaded advertising's depiction of motherhood. She said, “Celebrating mothers as all-rounders who can single-handedly handle everything, showing childcare as largely only a mother’s prerogative - while there is progress here. Showing moms as unidimensional beings with motherhood reflecting as their prime identity.”

But why do these stereotypes persist? Samyu Murali, Creative at Talented, suggests that the male gaze and Indian film industry have heavily influenced the perception of an ‘ideal mother.’

Indian films always portrayed moms as know-it-all, do-it-all moms. May it be Nandini Raichand from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, who always knew when her son was about to arrive home or Dr. Vidya in Paa who was a gynaecologist who single-handedly took care of her son, who suffered from progeria or Maya Awasthi from Taare Zameen Par who was shown working tirelessly to find the best solutions for her son’s education and personal growth while her husband's contributions were limited to financial support.

Murali emphasises how this depiction, originating from Indian cinema, has ingrained the notion of the sacrificial mother. She said, “The male gaze has coloured our view of the idea of an “ideal mother”. What started in the Indian film industry, the idea of a sacrificial mother - a superhuman who is everywhere and gives all of herself - has now become the norm. The goal, even. Generations of mothers are riddled with guilt as they balance raising their kids along with their personal identities.”

While movies afford filmmakers more time for nuanced representation, advertisements must convey complex themes in mere seconds. Pallavi Chakravarti, Founder & CCO, Fundamental, succinctly captures this dilemma, stating, “It’s tough capturing the essence of a mother in 30, 20, 15 and 6 seconds. Even impossible, I daresay. That’s probably why most of us stick to the ever-smiling, ever-shining, caring, sharing avatar of the Indian Maa.”

Sharing another reason why agencies and brands go ahead with these narratives, Chakravarti said, “It’s safe, it sells, plus this depiction has codes like unconditional love and trust and support baked into it. Unsurprisingly then, it’s the go-to rendition of Maa for most brands, clients and agencies.”

However, this age-old portrayal fails to capture the true diversity and complexity of the maternal experience.

In advertising, mothers are often portrayed solely in terms of what they can offer or provide, rather than being depicted as multifaceted individuals with their own identities, aspirations, and complexities. These portrayals reduce them to mere caregivers, overlooking their diverse identities and experiences. As advertisements reflect societal norms, this can induce guilt in mothers striving to meet unrealistic standards set by these portrayals.

A survey found that 78% of mothers feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids. And it’s not just working moms who feel ‘mom guilt’. A study found that more than half of mothers feel bad for partaking in self-care activities like soaking in the bath or going to work out. 

Whether you’re a CEO, an employee, or a stay-at-home parent, it’s easy to get caught up in the narrative that finding your own balance negatively impacts your children and careers. But, it’s time we reframe this conversation and move beyond the tired narrative of the guilt trap that confines motherhood to a woman's sole identity, defined by self-sacrifice.

So, what will it take for brands to finally wake up and smell the coffee? Perhaps a healthy dose of introspection coupled with a genuine desire to represent the diverse experiences of motherhood. 

Rethinking representation of motherhood

To truly reflect the diverse experiences of motherhood, advertisers must explore themes beyond the confines of traditional narratives.

Yash Modi, Creative Director, VML, affirms that the industry has restricted motherhood to a lot of topical stories and situations. 

He said, “There’s a lot more to motherhood in the daily, boring mundaneness of everyday life. It’s time we peel off these layers to notice that. I would love to see narratives around a mother’s everyday guilt about not doing enough, a newly-wed pair’s dilemmas around planning a baby, the sheer pain of going through pregnancy difficulties, or even the times moms go through menopause. These shall portray a deeper, more honest world of motherhood.”

Murali said “Motherhood is not an extended vacation from your job. It’s not 9 months of giving in to your cravings. It is extremely hard for so many women - both mentally and medically. We know that so much of the female body is not thoroughly researched and consequently, we don’t see any representation of the myriad of issues that women go through. For example, it was only in 2023 that a study found that hormonal contraceptives could impact the decision-making part of a woman’s brain.”

She highlighted that there are many narratives that are yet to find screen space in mainstream media. 

She added, “Conversations around postpartum, how hard it is for women to conceive, miscarriages, choosing unconventional ways of becoming a parent like surrogacy or adoption, choosing to not have children and the list goes on. The taboo that surrounds many of these experiences lead women to end up feeling very lonely and advertising needs to create space to reflect more real experiences of women and motherhood.”

Saini said, “Some narratives that brands can look into to move beyond stereotypical representation are giving visibility to the moms yet unseen; and making the existing stereotypical representations more progressive. Aspects like - Single moms, moms in varying age groups like moms considered much younger or older moms by traditional yardsticks, moms from the LGBTQI+ community, pet moms, and working moms shown with the right support from partners, family, society, workplaces and ecosystems; and more.”

It is essential that we challenge existing stereotypes and embrace the rich diversity of human experience. By breaking free from the age-old portrayals and amplifying the voices of real mothers, advertisers can forge deeper connections with consumers and drive positive social change. As Chakravarti aptly puts it, "Mums can be mischievous, moody, brash, childish, or greedy. They can want alone time or girl time or hate to cook. They can be imperfect. Human, minus the prefix of super."

It is time to celebrate the myriad identities and experiences of motherhood and pave the way for a more inclusive and empathetic portrayal in advertising.

Accurate representations of mothers in advertising not only resonate with consumers but also enhance brand image.

According to Saini, moving away from traditional portrayals of mothers could significantly impact a brand's image positively. She said, “Diversity and inclusion has been proven to enhance business results by enabling brands to offer more authentic and progressive storytelling. This approach mirrors the real diversity and intersectionality of consumers, fostering greater trust and positive feelings towards the brand. Data backs this.”

Citing a UN-supported study, she said that 48% of Indian consumers call for more inclusive representation, underlining the demand for diversity.

Furthermore, Saini shared that according to the Kantar-ASCI report 2024 on Diversity and Inclusiveness in Indian advertising highlights the tangible benefits of such portrayals: advertisements that feature positive depictions of gender not only engage audiences more effectively but also boost brand engagement and sales. 

She said, “For instance, positive portrayals of females in ads have led to a +54 increase in brand power and a +32 increase in the likelihood of short-term sales. This evidence shows that moving beyond traditional images of motherhood can cultivate stronger consumer connections and drive better business outcomes.”

Campaigns that serve as a guide

While navigating the landscape of motherhood representation in advertising, certain campaigns stand out as guiding lights, challenging stereotypes and reshaping perceptions.

Murali shared several campaigns that redefine traditional narratives of motherhood. Highlighting Tanishq's ‘The Interview’ campaign, she said, “The Interview focused entirely on redefining what others see as a career break into a life bootcamp. It put the focus on the mother - her anxiety, her resilience and her perseverance. We had a mother behind the camera as well.”

Another campaign highlighted by Murali is Bodyform's ‘Womb Stories,’ an international piece that addresses topics such as women's hormones, periods, miscarriages, and infertility. Sharing this campaign, she said, “A beautifully shot piece that showcases all the aches and pains that women go through that are often experienced, but never spoken about.”

While for Saini, the campaign that stood out was ‘Ariel’s - Silent Separation’ from the #ShareTheLoad series. She said, “It  touched upon the build up of a life spent playing the traditional role of motherhood.”

She elaborated that the campaign stands out because it not only addresses the unequal distribution of household chores, traditionally seen as a mother's responsibility in many Indian households, but it also delves into a less discussed aspect of motherhood—silent separation. 

She added, “This term encapsulates the idea that a mother can live her entire life in a certain way, often shouldering the brunt of household responsibilities alone, until she reaches a point of exhaustion. This side of motherhood, marked by silent sacrifices and unspoken fatigue, is a critical narrative that had previously been overlooked in advertising.

The campaign’s effectiveness is heightened by its emotional resonance and the use of everyday scenarios, like laundry, to symbolise larger issues of gender imbalance and the mental toll on mothers. By bringing this issue to the forefront, Ariel’s campaign encourages a societal shift towards more equitable home environments and sparks important conversations about the often invisible aspects of motherhood. This approach not only challenges outdated stereotypes but also connects deeply with viewers by acknowledging and validating the unspoken experiences of countless mothers.”

Additionally, Modi highlighted Rihanna's revolutionary approach to pregnancy style as a transformative force in reshaping perceptions of young motherhood.

He said, ‘Rihanna is beyond a campaign, and she’s completely changing pregnancy style and the way people see young mothers. What she’s doing is so fresh, so new and so edgy.”

These campaigns serve as guiding beacons, paving the way for more authentic and inclusive representations of motherhood in advertising and beyond.